


The Various (and Totally Exaggerated) Tales of the Marauders

by WalkingDredd



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Collection of one shots, Community: HPFT, F/M, Fluffy, M/M, Marauders, Probably shouldn't take them seriously, Silly Stories, Sirius is basically a dog, Various games played by the Marauders, but totally happened in my head :P
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-07-10 11:20:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6982597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WalkingDredd/pseuds/WalkingDredd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Marauders weren't as serious as people made them out to be, sometimes they were absolutely nuts. </p><p>Or</p><p>A selection of one shots where Sirius is basically a dog in human form.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a variety of one shots that I've written over on HPFF :D All mistakes are my own. :P

History of Magic was the most boring class that James was forced to take. It was tedious, the teacher droned on and on, and the classroom was hot. He had even been forced to remove his jumper, and could have sworn that Lily swooned at the sight of his arms, although she pointedly kept her gaze away from him.  
  
James knew she was impressed.  
  
“Oi, stop staring at Lily and make some notes,” Sirius grumbled, shoving James in the side with an elbow, and causing him to let out a small cry of pain. The other students turned to look at him before going back to being bored themselves.  
  
“Why don’t you make notes?” James hissed at Sirius, nudging him back and causing him to fall into Peter, who woke up abruptly from being asleep on the desk.  
  
“Because you have nicer handwriting,” Sirius told him, nodding down at the empty piece of parchment in front of James.

Remus was normally the one who made notes during this class, but he was recovering in the Hospital wing after his transformation, which meant that Sirius, James, and Peter had offered to make the notes for him.  
  
So far not one note had been made, apart from the word _‘bored’_ scrawled in large letters across a piece of parchment.  
  
“Give over, my handwriting is as messy as yours,” James snapped back, slouching in his seat and rubbing his tired eyes.  
  
“Yeah, but Remus can decipher yours. Mine is apparently unintelligible,” Sirius told him.  
  
James wasn’t going to make notes, the class was too boring, and he was close to falling asleep like Peter. He needed to stay awake, he didn’t want to be left vulnerable around Sirius and a quill. The last time that had happened Sirius had written a swear word on James’ head and they both had gotten a detention.  
  
Which reminded James that he needed to get Sirius back for that. He reached into his back and pulled out the ball that he had confiscated from a first year that morning, and held it in his hands. Sirius eagerly sat up in his seat, although he tried to hide it. James grinned, knowing that Sirius seemed to take days to recover from being in his dog form. Peter and James weren’t as bad as he was, Peter just liked to have cheese related food, and James liked to stare at things with wide eyes before running away in a zigzag formation.  
  
“ _Don’t,_ ” Sirius groaned, staring at the ball out of the corner of his eye. He held onto the edge of the desk in an attempt to stop himself from moving, fingers turning white as he strained to control himself.  
  
“I don’t know what you mean,” James said innocently, throwing the ball up and down in the air and causing Sirius’ head to move as he followed the ball.  
  
James smirked before saying under his breath, “Sirius, fetch.”  
  
He threw the ball across the classroom, and Sirius upended the table as he chased after it before he could stop himself. He ran over tables, skidded on people’s notes, crashed into the other students, and generally caused a nuisance and chaos.  
  
James howled with laughter as the ghost carried on teaching around them, not paying attention to what was happening in his classroom. Sirius managed to grab the ball, and bounded back over to James with the ball in his mouth. The other students were yelling, and glaring at Sirius as they tried to fix their notes and robes. Sirius had caused a trail of destruction in his attempt to get to the ball.  
  
Sirius dropped the ball on James’ desk and glared at him. “Stop this game; you _know_ I can’t control it.”  
  
James grinned before holding the ball up again and standing up to throw the ball out of the classroom door. Sirius chased after it quickly, and James laughed again.  
  
“Detention, Mr. Potter,” Binn’s told him. James carried on laughing, not caring that he had gotten a detention. It was worth it. 


	2. Battleshots

“E4.”

“Miss.”

“Curses!”

Sirius put a cross in the box marked E4 and looked up at Remus, who was on the Hufflepuff table and smiling smugly over at him. The Great Hall was empty, so Sirius and Remus figured that here would be the best place to play Battleshot’s. It was a game that they had stolen from Muggles, but as they weren’t allowed alcohol in the school, they settled for using cups of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans. If the other person called the number your cup was on, then you had to eat the entire cup of beans. So far Remus had ‘sunk’ one of Sirius’s ‘boats’ and Sirius was made to eat an entire cup of grass flavoured beans.

“D3,” Remus called across the room and Sirius glanced down at his board, seeing the cup on the D3 square. Sirius didn’t want to eat it, it was a fiery red colour and he knew that was cinnamon and aniseed flavour.

“Miss.”

“Sirius, don’t lie,”

“How do you know I’m lying?”

“I can always tell when you’re lying,” Remus shot back. Sirius tried to maintain eye contact, but he looked away and rolled his eyes.

“Hit.” Sirius grumbled. Remus gave a loud cheer as Sirius picked up the cup and poured the beans in his mouth. He winced at the strong flavours and tried not to gag as he attempted to swallow them without chewing. It was impossible and Sirius had no choice but to chew the beans. His mouth felt like it was on fire once he was finished and he grabbed for a drink quickly.

“Eurgh, that was horrible,” Sirius grumbled, sticking his tongue out in an attempt to cool it down. “Stop laughing.”

“I wasn’t laughing. It’s your go now.”

Sirius looked at the part of his game that had Remus’ board for Sirius to mark off. His eyes fell on a spot and he called out the number.

“D2,” Sirius stated, realising that he didn’t really have a technique to his calling, and was just picking areas at random.

Remus’ laugh died on his lips and he gave a loud sigh. “Hit.”

Sirius cheered loudly, fist punching the air and yelling that Remus was a loser. Remus glared at him before he ate the cup of beans. Sirius watched happily as Remus’ face contorted and his lips pursed. Remus winced and carried on making the faces for quite some time, and Sirius almost fell out of his seat as he laughed.

“That was a whole damn cup full of lemon!” Remus growled, glaring at the now empty cup in his hands. “They were blue. How is that a lemon colour?”

“Have you never eaten the blue Lemons of Angora?” Sirius asked as he marked a ‘tick’ on the D2 part of his board.

“They have blue lemons in Angora?” Remus asked, and Sirius smirked.

“Probably, I have no idea, I made it up.”

“You’re an idiot. Why do I put up with you?”

Sirius looked up at Remus. “Something to do with my good looks?”

“Pretty soon those looks are going to leave, and you’ll just have your annoying personality.”

Sirius pretended to look hurt, and looked back down at his board. There were still quite a lot of beans left, and he knew that they would be running out of time soon.

“Did you want to stop this and make James and Peter play instead?” Sirius asked, looking over at Remus. Remus nodded in agreement.

“I know a spell that will make the dirt flavoured ones look like the strawberry ones.”

Sirius smiled wickedly.

“And that is why I put up with you.”

“I knew you were using me for my brains.”


	3. Kiss Chase

Remus knew that any game that his friends owned wasn’t the kind of game that should be played in his family home, with his parents around. But, that was how he found himself spending the night with his friends, who had come over to spend the weekend with him over the summer holidays.

Peter had brought a new game with him, one that he had brought whilst on holiday in Barbados, as well as a very bright Hawaiian shirt that Remus was concerned about as it was a Hawaiian shirt, but he had brought it in Barbados. Remus wasn’t going to get into that argument again though, it wasn’t worth having Peter throw a strop.

Remus didn’t understand the rules of the game, apparently, it was just a card game that required you to answer questions or do dares, the only problem was that once you agreed to play it, you had to continue the game until all of the cards had been dealt. It had some sort of magical spell on them, and Remus cursed Peter as soon as Sirius pulled the first card from the top of the deck.

Sirius grinned at the card, before looking up at Remus and wiggling his eyebrows at him, in what could have been misconstrued as seductive. Remus frowned before backing away as Sirius moved slowly towards him.

“What are you doing?” Remus asked as James and Peter began laughing. Remus stood up as Sirius lunged for him, and managed to dodge out of the way in time. Remus ran from the room, wondering what had gotten into Sirius, and what was on that card to make him act this way.

He tried to run through the house as quietly as he could, hoping that his parents had put up the silencing charm like they had promised, all whilst trying to avoid being grabbed by Sirius.

“Sirius, what are you doing?” Remus hissed back at his best friend, slightly out of breath as he went down the stairs three stairs at a time, and struggling not to fall on his face as he did so. He skidded around the hallway, taking a wrong turn and realising that he had cornered himself by the locked front door.

Remus turned around, chest heaving, to see that Sirius had stopped in front of him, also out of breath and with a predatory look across his face. It caused a shiver to run through Remus.

“Come on, Moony,” Sirius stated taking a step closer, and causing Remus’ stomach to flip. “You now I have to do what the card tells me, or I suffer a forfeit.”

Remus gulped, trying to steady the frantic beating of his heart at the closeness they had now. “Wh-what’s the card?” Remus asked, licking his lips. Sirius’s gaze dropped to follow the movement before he handed the card out for Remus to take.

Remus took it slowly, before looking down at it. “Kiss the person you love.”

Remus could have sworn that his heart stopped at reading the card, sure that this was one of the many dreams that plagued him with what he couldn’t have. Remus looked up from the card, struggling to think of what he could say, but Sirius chose that moment to place his lips on Remus’ tenderly.

The kiss ended much too quickly for Remus, and he couldn’t stop the grin that crossed his face, matching the one that was on Sirius’.

“Once you two are done, it’s Moony’s turn to draw a card,” James said from the stairs. Remus and Sirius both turned to look at him and Peter who were standing on the stairs and watching them.

“I hope this game won’t end in Sirius and Remus kissing all night,” Peter grumbled as they all began making their way back to Remus’ bedroom, Sirius and Remus lingering behind to walk slowly together.

“Peter, you need to get better games if it does,” James grumbled walking up the stairs.


	4. Don't Let The Balloon Touch The Floor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This hasn't been through a beta yet, so all mistakes are mine. :P If none of you have noticed, this entire story has little plot, and it's a lot of fun to write!

The game had been going on for nearly twenty-four hours. What had started as a game between just Sirius and James, because the latter had been bored, had escalated into all four of the Marauders playing the game.  
  
The rules of the game that had taken the Sixth year Gryffindor boy’s dormitory by storm were quite simple. Don’t let the balloon touch the floor.  
  
They were allowed to stop it by any means possible, fan charms, hitting it with any part of your body you could – there had been quite a commotion when both Peter and James had tried to stop it using their heads – as long as you didn’t hold onto the balloon.  
  
Sirius wasn’t even sure where the balloon had come from, finding it in his trunk and figuring that it was a remnant from a long forgotten party, but it had kept them entertained for hours.  
  
“Should we maybe attempt to sleep?” Remus inquired, flicking the balloon away from him and doing a fancy twirl as the balloon soared into the air. It made the game a bit more entertaining, because the four boys were trying to outdo the others.  
  
Sirius shrugged, attempting to roundhouse kick the balloon but failing. Remus had to quickly use his wand to stop the balloon from hitting the floor. “Cheers Moony.” Sirius nodded in Remus’ direction, but his eyes stayed on the red balloon, watching as Peter head butted it in James’ direction. James punched it back to Sirius. “And that’s future us’ problem.”  
  
“Sleep is for the weak,” James laughed, watching as Sirius attempted to balance the balloon on the end of his nose, before blowing it back into the air. It was nearly seven in the morning and they were all thankful that they didn’t have classes. Although none of them could really remember what day it was, their whole life was so fixated on this balloon, that they had little time to think of anything else.   
  
“Maybe we should take it in turns?” Peter suggested, “Like we do when we need a toilet break, or to get food?”  
  
There was silence for a moment, as the balloon hovered too close to the window for their liking, and then too close to the corner of James’ wardrobe. Sirius dived over Peter’s bed, landing on the floor and just managing to hit it back into the air. He waved his wand and it floated over towards Remus, who punched it towards James. They let Sirius get back up off the floor before they hit it back to him.  
  
“Maybe we could put a permanent hover charm on it so that it will stay floating whilst we sleep? I think that if we took it in turns, there wouldn’t be much sleep going on.” Remus was always the voice of reason, and the other three realised that he had a point.  
  
“Yeah, we don’t want to have anyone waking us up by diving on us,” Peter stated lunging forwards and smacking the balloon back into the air.  
  
Remus hit the balloon too hard, causing it to bounce off the ceiling quickly. The four boys winced, waiting for it to burst, but it continued floating to the floor in one piece. James was the one to kick it back into the air.  
  
“I think we should go for Moony’s idea, with the floating charm,” James stated eyes on the balloon as it floated just over Peter’s head. Peter jumped backwards, arm outstretched above him, but he caught the bed and went tumbling down the other side of it.  
  
The Marauders let out gasps as the balloon floated to the floor, all three of the others diving for it, arms outstretched in an attempt to hit it. However, it was to no avail, because the balloon touched the floor.  
  
They all stared at the balloon, mouths agape in horror, before Sirius, Remus, and James all turned to look at Peter.  
  
“You are dead to me,” Sirius growled, standing up and stamping on the balloon as hard as he could.  


	5. Table Tennis

“This is Ace.”  
  
James grunted as he swung the racket around as hard as he could, hitting the ball back towards Sirius. Sirius dived and hit the ball back, before scrambling back up and sending a few glasses of orange juice crashing to the floor.   
  
“You need to work on your pun skills. But I agree it's the best idea that we’ve had in a while.”  
  
The ball was hit back towards James, who dived and missed it, although he did manage to fall off the table himself.  
  
“Did we need to wear the outfit's though?” Sirius asked James, rolling the tennis racket around in his hands as he waited for James to pick himself back up off the floor and get onto the table to serve.   
  
“I think you look very fetching in that skirt,” James told him, throwing the ball into the air, and hitting it towards Sirius, who ran up the table to reach it, accidentally kicking a bowl of strawberries off the table in his haste to get to the ball. He just managed to hit it back. “You have the legs for it, just not the knees.”  
  
“That was a very backhanded compliment.” Sirius barked out, “at least they’re not as bad as your knees.”  
  
It was James turn to dive to hit the ball.   
  
“Why did I have to wear the skirt?” Sirius complained, “I wanted the shorts.”  
  
“Because you were too slow, and I’m the winner.”  
  
“I can’t believe that Remus and Peter are missing this,” James told Sirius, as the ball sailed over to the Slytherin table that Sirius was currently standing on. He had to jump to reach it in time and send it back over to the Ravenclaw table James was running on.   
  
“Who the hell gets detention on a Tuesday night? That’s the most fun night of the week.”  
  
“Those idiots,” James stated, before jumping on the spot and cheering when Sirius missed the ball. “Fifteen-love.”  
  
“Don’t you call me Love,” Sirius shot back, pointing his tennis racket at James and using his wand to summon the ball from the floor.  
  
“No, that’s what the scoring is.”  
  
“Love isn’t a number,” Sirius said shaking his head and hitting the ball as hard as he could back to James. “Stupid Muggles and their crazy sports.”  
  
“They’re not all crazy,” James stated as he missed the ball and grabbed for his wand to summon it back.   
  
Sirius stopped his victory dance to spread his arms out, indicating the game that they were playing.   
  
“We’re currently standing on a table playing Tennis. I think this shows that Muggles are crazy.”  
  
“It’s not normally a Muggle custom to play Tennis on an actual table.”  
  
Sirius squeaked as he whirled around to face Professor McGonagall, just as James hit the ball into the side of Sirius’s head. It bounced off with a loud ‘thunk’ before hitting the floor and rolling away.   
  
“What are you both doing?” she asked them angrily, her lips pursed into a thin line and her hands on her hips. “You’re both making quite a racket.”  
  
James stared at her open mouthed. “Did you... did you just make a tennis pun?”  
  
“If it’s not meant to be played on a table, why is it called table tennis?” Sirius asked.   
  
“Look it up when you go to your detention in the library,” Professor McGonagall told them, which earned a groan from them both as they jumped down from the tables.  
  
“Detention in the library is the worst,” Sirius grumbled, kicking at a few strawberries that were laying on the floor and rolling in the cream that Sirius had knocked over earlier.  
  
“Serves you both right,” McGonagall stated before walking out of the Great Hall. “Now clean this mess up.” 


	6. Stop Trying To Make Fetch Happen

A/N: Quote in title is taken from Mean Girls, which is owned by Paramount Pictures  
  
“This game is too farfetched for Remus to understand,” James stated. This earned a giggle from Peter, and a glare from Remus.  
  
“That was pawful,” Remus couldn’t keep the glare on his face for long before sniggering.  
  
Sirius barked at them, and Remus rolled his eyes before throwing the ball as hard as he could through the forest. Sirius bounded after it quickly, only catching his feet on a few of the tree roots and falling into the muddy ground.   
  
Peter grimaced at the amount of mud that would be on Sirius after they had finished their game.   
  
“Should we hose him down after this? I don’t think Filch will appreciate Sirius tracking in whatever it is he’s rolled in.”  
  
James and Remus shrugged at Peter’s words, before they both brought a finger up quickly to place on the tip of their noses, both shouting, “Not It!”  
Peter was too slow and cursed.   
  
“When shall we go inside?” he asked them as Sirius came bounding back to them and dropped the ball in front of Peter’s feet, wagging his tail and looking up at his expectantly. Peter let out a moan of displeasure at having to handle the drool-covered tennis ball, and threw it as far as he could, it bounced off a tree and came sailing back.   
  
“Soon” James suggested. “Sirius has had us out here for ages playing this game.”  
  
The Marauders snorted as Sirius tried to jump and catch it, misjudging it completely and ending up falling to the ground in a spectacular heap, that if he were in his human form would probably break something. Thankfully as a dog, he was more flexible.   
  
“Maybe we should use our wands to throw the ball?” Remus suggested as Peter rubbed his hand on his robes.   
  
James agreed, waving his wand at the ball, which floated in the air, just out of Sirius’ reach. He enjoyed tormenting his friend for a while before flicking his wand and causing it to fly quickly through the woods, much faster and further then they had managed before.   
  
“Wow, he’ll be out there for a while getting that one,” Remus stated as the three boys watched Sirius running after it.   
  
“Shall we leave whilst he’s gone?” James suggested. The others agreed, before running back to the castle.  
  
Sirius found them not too long after, the tennis ball in his hand as he walked mud through the entire common room. They all turned to look at him in confusion as he threw the ball up and down in the air before him.   
  
“How can you touch that? It’s covered in drool,” Peter grimaced as he Sirius put the ball down onto the table in front of them and tried to take a seat on the couch.   
Remus was quick to push him away so that he didn’t make it dirty.   
  
“It’s _my_ drool,” Sirius told them with a shrug, scratching at his hair and causing a few pieces of gravel and leaves to fall out of his messy hair. “Huh, maybe I should go and have a bath.”  
  
“I think that’s best, Black,” Lily called loudly across the common room. Sirius held his arms out to her for a hug and she recoiled at the idea of it. He chuckled before walking over to the stairs that would take him to the dormitories.  
  
“Sirius,” James called loudly, which made Sirius turn around quickly. James had a smirk on his face as he picked up the tennis ball, Sirius’s eyes lit up as they followed its every movement, his body going tense as he waited for James to throw it. “Fetch.”  
  
James threw the ball in the direction of the third years that had huddled by the fireplace, and Sirius chased after it eagerly. He jumped over one of the armchairs, almost kicking one of the boys in the head as he frantically tried to reach the ball. The third years screamed as they tried to avoid being hurt by the ball or Sirius, who was scrambling over them.   
  
James, Remus, and Peter all laughed loudly as Sirius ended up pushing the table over, scattering all of the homework that had been on it. Lily was on her feet, trying to stop Sirius.   
  
“Don’t touch the ball, it’s mine!” Sirius growled as a third year reached down for the ball. The girl threw it towards the stairs and Sirius jumped after it, stumbling as he slipped on a piece of parchment. He crumpled to the floor, but scrambled up quickly onto all fours to find the ball. He didn’t have the speed or flexibility of his animagus form, but Sirius still tried to pick the ball up with his mouth.   
  
It wasn’t until he seemed to realise that everyone was staring at him that Sirius stopped trying to get the ball. He looked down at his body, seeming to notice that he was in his human form and looked up to glare at James who was laughing loudly.  
  
“I am really not fawned of you,” Sirius said throwing the ball at James’ head.   
  
Remus groaned at the use of the pun as Sirius stomped up the stairs.  


	7. Monopoly Mayhem

It was the game that had brought many families to breaking point. It had caused massive sibling rivalries, had almost resulted in a few murders, and was rumoured to be the reason why Grindelwald was defeated by Dumbledore.   
  
“I really don’t think this game is the reason why Dumbledore defeated Grindelwald,” Remus said, shaking his head at Sirius who was nodding eagerly next to him.  
  
“I swear that’s what Binn’s had said in History of Magic,” Sirius said, sitting up as James set up the board on the floor in front of them.   
  
“Do you even pay attention in History of Magic?” Remus asked. Sirius gave a smirk as he winked at Remus.  
  
“Not really, I’m normally distracted by your handsome face,” Sirius told him. Remus felt his face heating up.   
  
“I think I heard Binn’s say that as well,” Peter stated, taking the fake Galleons that James was passing him. James had claimed that he was going to be the banker; Sirius had thought he said something else and hilarity ensued. “Something about Dumbledore being angry that he lost because Grindelwald cheated.”  
  
“I really don’t think that a game would cause a war,” Remus said in disbelief.   
  
“You haven’t played monopoly have you?” James asked, as he finished handing out the coins and began picking up the pieces they had to choose between.  
  
“I’ve played Muggle monopoly, how is this different?” Remus asked.  
  
“Oh, Remus, so innocent.” Peter gave a laugh as he reached for the top hat.   
  
Remus took the cannon, whilst Sirius took the ship. Remus smiled as he lifted it and aimed it at Sirius, who dived for cover.  
  
“What?” Remus asked quickly as he put the cannon down on the board. “I was only going to pretend to sink your ship.”  
  
“Never pretend that!” Sirius cried as he sat back up and set his ship down carefully. “That cannon is loaded.”  
  
“I really don’t think that it’s loaded,” Remus rolled his eyes, glancing at James who was using the iron piece to iron the cuff on his sleeve. Remus noticed tiny swirls of steam coming from it.   
  
“How does that not set the board on fire?” Remus asked him. James shrugged as he set the piece down and reached for the dice.   
  
“Magic.”  
  
He threw the dice and rolled a six, the iron moved across the board, smoothing out any creases as it went. Remus didn’t understand how it could have creases, but he had leant not to question it.   
  
“I still don’t see how this is going to be as bad as you make out,” Remus stated as Sirius rolled.   
  
“You haven’t seen Sirius losing at this game,” James stated, remembering last summer when Sirius had brought him the game. They had fiddled with the charms on the board, not sure of what would happen. By the end of the game Sirius was trying to shoot James with the cannon.  
  
“You’re not going to love me after this game is ended,” Sirius told him.  
  
Remus didn’t realise just how right they had been until they got to the end of the game. Tempers had been running high for quite some time, ever since Peter managed to get Hogwarts castle on the board and had ended up bankrupting Gringotts bank by taking all of the money. Sirius had been sent to Azkaban and it had taken twelve rolls to get him out of it because he was too tight to pay the five Galleon fine. James had promised his first-born child to Peter in exchange for more money, and Remus had been fined for starting a fight in the Ministry of Magic with a gang of friends.   
  
Remus had to use magic to stop them all, when Sirius had jumped over the board to pin Peter to the ground. He had bankrupt James as well, taking all of his houses, and the pubs that he had acquired so that James was sobbing on the floor. Remus managed to freeze Sirius just as he grabbed for Peter’s hand and threatened to bite his fingers off.   
  
Remus knew that he was never going to play this game with them again. It made him see them all in a new light. 


	8. Hufflepunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus hated the game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not edited, so all mistakes belong to me :D

“Hufflepunch.”  
  
“Ow!”   
  
Remus clutched his arm as Sirius ran across the field, laughing loudly as he made his way over to where James was. Remus glared after him, before turning to glare at the unsuspecting Hufflepuff that was walking towards the castle on his own. Remus should have known he was there, he shouldn’t have let his guard down, he was better than that.   
  
James and Sirius, in a fit of boredom, came up with a game. They had named it the Hufflepunch game, and the rules were simple, every time you saw a Hufflepuff, you punched whatever friend was with you in the arm.   
  
It was only when they had Herbology with the Hufflepuff’s the next morning - and Peter had punched them all in the arm fifteen times each - that the rules of the game were changed. You could only deliver the punch if the Hufflepuff was alone, no groups of Hufflepuff’s, or Hufflepuff’s in twos. It made the game a lot harder, as the Hufflepuff’s were a friendly and social bunch, and were rarely alone.   
  
“Don’t be a sore loser, Moony,” Sirius laughed, wrapping an arm around Remus’ shoulders as soon as he arrived over at them. Remus was quick to shove him away and to the floor.   
  
“I’m not a sore loser,” Remus grumbled. “I’m going to get you when you least expect it.”  
  
Sirius laughed again, before plopping himself down on the ground next to James, who was grinning. “I’m always expecting it.”  
  
\--  
  
“Hufflepunch!”  
  
“For God’s sake, Sirius,” Remus snapped, dropping the book in his hands, which fell onto his toe. He picked the book up quickly and turned to glare at Sirius, who had darted away enough that Remus couldn’t reach over and grab him.   
  
Sirius chuckled loudly, raising his eyebrows at Remus and pointing at the Hufflepuff that was walking along the corridor alone. Remus turned to look at Sirius, and let out a growl. Instead of scaring Sirius, it made his grin widen.   
  
“I’m going to hurt you so badly,” Remus threatened. Sirius laughed as he danced away from him. Remus had to struggle to keep his eyes on Sirius’ face.   
  
“Oh, Moony, you’re really not. You’re terrible at this game.”  
  
\--  
  
Remus had been looking forward to this hot chocolate all morning. The weather outside had been freezing and the cold wind had been biting at the skin on his fingers until they had gone numb. The Great Hall was empty, or had been.   
  
“Hufflepunch!”  
  
“Damn it, Sirius!” Remus yelled angrily, as the hot chocolate fell from his grasp and pain radiated through his arm. Remus had to move away from the table to stop the scalding liquid from burning him. He turned to Sirius, his best death glare on his face, and Sirius at least had the decency to look apologetic.   
  
He was pointing at the boy that was sitting alone at the Hufflepuff table; the boy was the only Hufflepuff in the almost deserted Great Hall. Remus couldn’t help but hate him in that moment.  
  
“I am going to destroy you,” Remus threatened, leaning on the table so that he was eye-level with Sirius, who gulped and leant away from him. “You won’t know when and you won’t know where. Just know that I am going to make your life hell if you carry on with this game.”  
  
“Come on, Moony,” Sirius whispered, licking his lips nervously. Remus’ eyes followed the movement before he stood up. “You love me really.”  
  
“Don’t be so sure,” Remus growled, storming from the Great Hall and planning to head to the kitchens. He really needed a hot chocolate without being disturbed.   
  
\--  
  
Remus kissed Sirius, pushing him against the stonewall. The two seventh years had been making good use of Remus’ prefect patrols to spend some time alone, Remus telling his patrol partner that he didn’t mind doing it alone and sending her to the other floor of the castle.   
  
Sirius had appeared under James’ invisibility cloak, and the two had found an alcove in the wall to have a making out session.   
  
It was just as Sirius was about to deepen the kiss that Remus pulled away, punching Sirius as hard as he could in the arm. Sirius let out a loud cry of pain, clutching hold of his arm and cursing Remus with every swear word in his vocabulary.   
  
“Hufflepunch!”  
  
Remus looked at him smugly as Sirius shot him a look of utter betrayal. Remus chuckled, leaving the alcove and Sirius behind so that he could continue his prefect duties.   
  
Sirius rubbed his arm and peered out of the alcove, to see a Hufflepuff prefect walking down the corridor with Remus.   
  
Sirius was going to kill him.


End file.
